The fight.
I have gotten a number of encouraging responses to things I’ve written in the past over the past weeks, some of which asked me to continue making posts. I haven’t abandoned this blog as much as my life has just gotten in the way of it — those who know me outside of this blog know that I moved into a new house on Saturday and am getting married this coming Sunday. Needless to say, life is crazy.
That is certainly something worth considering. At the beginning of June, I was in such a deep depression that I literally felt that life could not continue. Needless to say, any kind of spiritual progress is impossible in such a state, especially when apathy sits in so deep that any desire to fight against it is effectively destroyed. I emphasize the word fight because that’s exactly what it is. But, apart from anything I did, I managed, life continued, and I’m still here posting. Amazing how that works, isn’t it?
I went to breakfast with a good friend of mine this past Saturday, as he was helping me move and we wanted to start off the long day with a big breakfast. As usual, the chatter wandered into the territory of Roman Catholicism (since I am a former Catholic and my friend works for a decidedly Catholic gift shop), and upon hearing the words “chaplet of divine mercy” leave my friend’s mouth, a man sitting behind us immediately turned around and struck up a conversation. The point? Since he heard us discussing Catholicism, we obviously couldn’t have been Christians, so we needed to get saved. Once we did that, any past, present or future sin would be absolved, regardless. Free and clear!
I bring this up because nowhere in such an idea is that fight expressed, and as I have mentioned elsewhere in this blog, it was this very idea of “once saved, always saved” that made me think I was lost. Once one hears the gospel, it is not over, and struggles with sin don’t just disappear! Far from it! Again and again, the one thing I have repeated throughout this blog, for what little it’s worth, is struggle. And it is quite clear how very bad I am at it. Is “getting saved” the answer? Not if one thinks that one is simply set for life! To the dying breath, one must call on the name of the Lord Jesus, confessing Him indeed to be Lord, and trusting in the holy mercy of the All-Holy Trinity, one God, Who Is Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Who was, is, and is to come!
Even when it is completely imperceptible, or even when the struggle gives the appearance of moving starkly backward, one must stay in the fight. Can one really expect to live comfortably and still yearn for God? In my own experience, when things are easy, I forget God. Horrible, yes, but I’ve read countless other accounts attesting to the same experience. Is it possible to experience the mercy of our thrice-holy Lord when we do not even feel we need it? How can anyone claim to follow Christ without enduring the violence that the very Kingdom suffers (Matt. 11:12)? And likewise, if the Kingdom suffers violence, how will we not fight back?
As much as I, with my dark outlook on this world, hate to admit it, I am doing a lot better in some ways than I was at the beginning of June, at least on an emotional level. Depression has left me alone, for the most part. Certain dark passions have not conquered me for a number of weeks now. That’s not to say that the fight is over — now, even more subtle passions are making themselves known, and it’s harder to fight an enemy one can scarcely even see! — but the Lord has manifested Himself to me in that I am still here, and still (for the most part) sane. At times, I even think that I understand just a little bit what “Christ is in our midst!” really means. He is with us, and His Body also, the Church, comprised even of His saints who have passed on and continue the battle on our behalf before Him.
The Lord is my strength and song; He is become my salvation. Alleluia.
22 July 2008 at 1:12 am
Never Be Deceived America
Is it possible that today a counterfeit gospel and counterfeit Jesus is being preached in our nation and in the world at large? Just because someone says that they believe in Jesus, does that really mean that they are Christians? Should we believe every person regardless of the way that they live their lives and what they believe in scripture?
Well, I believe that we should not. For we read in scripture that their will be some who will try to trouble us, by perverting the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. Now, the Bible makes it very clear, if someone comes to you preaching another gospel, which is not found in the Word of God, or another Jesus that we have not read about in scripture, then we are on no account to receive them as followers of Christ. Paul the apostle of Jesus Christ, was not fooled he said “they profess that they know God; but in works they deny Him,”
In 2 John v 9, we read “Whosoever transgresseth and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ hath not God, he that abideth in the doctrine of Christ; he hath both the Father and the Son.” So if anyone comes to you and says, “we believe in Jesus”, but not in the word of God as it is written in the Holy Bible, then we do not receive them, or welcome them, for they are trying to make you doubt God’s Word, and trying to weaken your faith. It is written, “If there come any unto you and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed,” {2 John v 10}.
So beware in these last days do not listen to anyone who does not bring you sound doctrine, always check out everything that you hear in the Holy Scriptures. If you do you will never be deceived, for we must remember the Words of Jesus, “For there shall arise false Christs and false prophets and shall show great signs and wonders, insomuch that if it were possible they shall deceive the very elect,” {Matthew 24 v 24}.
Dear Saints, let us hold on to God’s Word filling our minds with His truth, if we do we shall never be deceived by what we hear or see.
23 July 2008 at 3:05 am
God said to Israel
If thou shalt say in thy heart these nations are more than I, then how can I dispose of them? If we say our problem is greater than what Jesus did for us at Calvary, then we are not walking in faith. Our problem might be sickness, sin or financial, but whatever it may be, we are to trust God to bring us through. For the Bible says, “ Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all” So, confess God’s Word, stand on God’s Word and see yourself delivered. The Ark will keep out the water, the Red Sea will part, Goliath will fall, the walls of Jericho will come tumbling down, because Jesus Christ has risen, He has won the victory. So, child of God, have faith, live by faith, for Jesus said,
“I will never leave you or forsake you”.
23 July 2008 at 10:06 am
Where in this post have I given the impression that I don’t have faith? I must admit, I am a bit put-off that you came onto my blog and started talking about false doctrines, without specifying just what you’re talking about. Forgive me.
24 July 2008 at 11:31 am
guest,
Please do specify why in the world you started talking about false doctrines from this blog post??? I thought it was a beautiful expression of the Christian life we are called to in this fallen world.
Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.
28 July 2008 at 11:37 am
guest,
You give no evidence of connecting with anything Seraphim has said. You are wielding Scripture like a bludgeon simply flailing it into a vacuum with no context for what you are saying. This is not rightly handling the Word of Truth. The Scriptures are not magic formulae. They have a proper context, which is the community formed by God into which they were first spoken–i.e., the OT people of God and the historic Christian Church of the NT, which communities also experienced struggle and sin.
Here are some Scriptures which I believe genuinely apply to what Seraphim is describing in his own experience with Christ:
Phil. 2:12 “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling;
13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.”
Phil 3:12 ” Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.
13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,
14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
1 John 1:8 “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.”
Anyone who first places faith in Christ as Savior and Lord must recognize that this is also only the beginning of a walk with Him that must be brought to completion by the grace of God. It requires a living faith according to the Epistle of St. James, which, by definition, implies something active and dynamic, growing and sometimes, if we are honest, regressing and faltering. This is something also to which the rest of the Scriptures attest. With the Apostle Paul exhorting the members of the Church at Philippi to “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” and also admitting “I do not count myself to have apprehended . . . but I press on that I may attain,” it is clear we (as well as Christ) have an active part to play in our own salvation. It is not as though we can save ourselves, but neither can God save us unless we actively assent to His work in our lives. He doesn’t force His will on us (even though He wills that all come to repentance). Even after we make an initial decision to follow Him (which is also by His grace), at every decision point in our maturation process, we must continually choose to yield our will to God or our salvation, as sanctification, will not proceed. This progress is violently opposed by evil forces and our own sinful inclinations and habits (which Scripture never leads us to believe will be discarded magically overnight despite an initial decision for Christ), therefore, “the violent take [the Kingdom] by force” (Matt. 11:12). Pressing on to “lay hold of that for which Christ has laid hold of us” (Phil 3:12) requires a sustained effort of the cooperation of our will with the grace of God at work in our lives to bring us to completion in Christ. In this way, God’s grace empowers our progressive maturation in Christ.
It is not “confessing” Scripture that heals us, if by that you mean merely quoting it out loud to ourselves and trying to work up some kind of rational “belief” in our minds about it. This is pure silliness and childish magical thinking. It is prayerfully meditating on the Word allowing the Holy Spirit to illumine its meaning to us, taking Christ’s commandments deeply to heart, confessing our sins, and above all maintaining our hope in Christ’s willingness and ability to save us despite all our struggles that will result in our true salvation (as consummation in Christ). This is a process that, like any organic process of life and growth, and like any personal relationship, requires nurture and time, and this is exactly what Seraphim is describing in his posts.
28 July 2008 at 12:10 pm
Amazing Grace
I would like to share a testimony with you, I was asked to preach in a Dorset village called Lychett Maltravers. I had never been there before so I decided to visit the church the day before I was scheduled to preach. I found the church down a very narrow lane, I prayed to the Lord and said, “Lord, what word do you want me to preach to these people.” He told me in my mind to enter the church. On entering the church I met the cleaner, who told me that I was welcome to have a look around. I walked over to the pulpit and noticed the communion rail, then the Lord began to speak to me again and said, “You see this communion rail,” I replied, “Yes, Lord.” “Well, when you preach tomorrow, you must tell the people that many times in the past they have come to the communion rail to receive the bread and the wine, but this time they must come to receive Jesus as Lord and Saviour, publicly, for where two or three are gathered together in my name there I am in the midst,” saith the Lord.
Well, the following day I did as the Lord had said, I began to preach my sermon, then I remembered what the Lord had said, so I told them that Jesus is standing by this communion rail, and as they had received the bread and the wine in the past, today, they were to receive Jesus, fully into their lives. I stood to one side of the rail, and we all began to sing Amazing Grace ! How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I’m found, was blind, but now I see. Then one lady who had been attending that church for many years came to the front and knelt down, and gave her life fully to Jesus. Praise God. It reminds me of a scripture, where Jesus said, “ I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons which need no repentance,” {St Luke 15 v 7}.
Now, for those who did not receive Jesus that day, they became very troubled. I received a letter from one of the Elders who could not understand how I could of heard Jesus speaking to me. He said, “Who do you think that you are? God doesn’t speak,” Obviously he was not listening to God’s word; I perceived that he to needed to come to Jesus. Another gentleman came to my home, and he was very troubled as well, he said, “Now that this lady is saved, how are you going to disciple her? For we are not going to.” Well, I thought to myself, it is Jesus who saves, and it is Jesus who keeps us, for Jesus said, “That it is He who has begun a good work in us and it is He who will finish it.” So I guess that this gentleman needed to receive Jesus as well. Maybe many others in that church should have responded to the altar call that day; my prayer is that they don’t leave it too late. But as for me, I’m going to rejoice with the angels in heaven over that one soul that was saved. Praise God.
Oh Jesus, Lord and Saviour, I give myself to Thee; For thou, in Thine atonement,
Didst give thyself for me; I own no other Master, My heart shall be Thy throne,
My life I give, henceforth to live, O Christ, for Thee alone
28 July 2008 at 4:40 pm
guest,
You clearly have a longing for people to wholeheartedly commit themselves to the Lord. That is good. The Lord speaks to all of us in our consciences, and many times we experience that He specifically directs our steps as we are committed to His purposes in our lives. I like your story. However, once again, you have not engaged in real conversation here. You have simply told us an unrelated tale. I think the comments sections of others’ blogs are for the purpose of engaging one another in dialogue–to actually relate to one another, in what I hope as a Christian is a loving and respectful way. You are welcome also to do that. But if you merely want to preach and tell your own stories, I respectfully suggest you maintain your own blog site. Hopefully, many will be edified and drawn to Christ.
29 July 2008 at 8:33 am
Very well put (twice now!), Karen. Thank you.
The one thing I must point out also is that one must never attempt to judge what is in another’s heart. Never, ever, ever. Those who believe they can point out who will and will not be saved are in peril themselves. How many times throughout Scripture does St. Paul, and even the Lord Himself, warn against this? Certainly it can be edifying to let a brother or sister know when he or she is engaging in behavior unbecoming of a Christian, but to assume that the person doesn’t have Jesus at all is perhaps over the line. Every last one of us Christians falter at some point during our lives. I believe it is vanity and pride to claim otherwise.
Forgive me.
29 July 2008 at 10:19 am
Yes karen one must never attempt to judge what is in another’s heart.
I am only trying to do our Lord’s work. And yes to you to Seraphim The one thing I must point out also is that one must never attempt to judge what is in another’s heart. Never, ever, ever.
29 July 2008 at 11:44 am
I’m just curious to know what your thoughts on the Chaplet of Divine Mercy are, being a recent convert from Catholicism to Orthodoxy.
29 July 2008 at 12:51 pm
guest,
Forgive me, since I obviously came across as judging your heart. I hope it is clear from my second comment that if I have judged it, it is to recognize that there is good there! My first post was unnecessarily preachy, and I sincerely apologize for its tone. It was an overreaction from my own experiences (mainly the bad, though I had many good ones as well) as a former Evangelical and charismatic/pentacostal turned Orthodox. In any case, what I wished to question was not your heart, but your blogging commentary tactics and the tacit assumptions you seemed to be making in much of your choice of comments in response to Seraphim’s post–especially in your first comment. Thank you for actually engaging in a two-way conversation with us, instead of using this blog merely as an adjunct preaching site. I wish you God’s mercy and blessing as you seek to “do His work” (though I confess that it is more my conviction that it is the Lord who must do His own work in and through us!) I have lived in the U.K., and I recognize that it is often an arid and hostile place spiritually–especially for one actively seeking to influence others to repentance and faith in God.
Seraphim,
Sorry if I was a little overzealous in your defense, and hope I have not unnecessarily injured our evangelist brother’s opinion of Orthodox converts! Beautiful wedding! Many years! I hope you will be spending far more time with your beautiful new bride than on this blog!
29 July 2008 at 2:29 pm
Karen: I apologize! My comments regarding judging others were in NO WAY directed at you! I thought your comments were spot-on, and I appreciate you posting them. I think you are being as gentle in your comments as you possibly can be (and probably moreso than I am about to be!). And thank you for the wedding wishes… obviously we are not taking an immediate honeymoon.
I commented on judging others because I cannot help but think that’s exactly why guest felt the need to post in response to this blog. I am asking you, guest, once again: what of the Lord’s work are you looking to accomplish here? Am I preaching a false gospel? Do you think I am lost or something? You cannot know whether I will be saved any more than you can know whether you’ll be saved. Seek the grace of God fervently and fight the good fight — we know that in the end, God is merciful. To pronounce one “saved” or “unsaved,” however, is to play God, a grave offense indeed. If you have some problem with what I am saying, I would appreciate a direct response so as to make dialogue possible. At this point, I still do not know exactly what you are trying to tell me/us.
John in Dallas: my personal thoughts regarding the chaplet of divine mercy are nothing profound. It was never a part of my devotional life as a Catholic, so I never use it. However, I know some Orthodox priests who say it’s more or less acceptable to one who has converted from Catholicism. It’s really something one should discuss with one’s own spiritual father (which holds true for everything one sees online, frankly!).
30 July 2008 at 1:49 am
Dear brother and sister,
Knowing Jesus as your personal Saviour is not a religionor a denomination, calling yourself catholic,orthodox,protestant cuts no ice withour Lord. A christian is someone who has simply come to Jesus asking Him for forgiveness for their sins, and asking Jesus to be the Lord of their life. A child with no scriptural knowledge of the Bible yet when simply coming to Christ knowing that Jesus was crucified for our sins and raised from the dead on the third day and is exalted and reigning withGod in heaven, knowing this and knowing Christ alone will save anyone.
30 July 2008 at 10:16 am
Seraphim–Thanks! I didn’t take your comments about judgment as directed at me.
guest,
Why would you think that we are advocating a faith in Christ that is a denomination or “religion?” Nevertheless, no matter what our (yours or ours) persuasion of what style of worship, preaching, etc., most befits the gospel of Jesus Christ, we all (you and we) express our faith in some way and have convictions about how that should look (at least for us personally) based on our own experience of God and our understanding of Scripture and how that has been interpreted within the Church historically (expressed in Creeds, etc.). After coming to Christ in the simple way you describe myself as a child, I have found no formal dogmatic expression of Christian belief and/or worship more fitting to the sometimes very profound encounters I have had with the Spirit of Jesus Christ than that of historic Eastern Orthodoxy. At 48 years of age and after more than 30 years as a practiciing, active evangelical (charismatic), that was a surprise to me when I discovered it, but it is the only formal corporate expression of Christian faith that I have found that ultimately makes full sense of the work that God has done in my heart and life up until this point and of the Scriptures. Paradoxically, after attempting to function as an adult Christian in this world under the assumptions of my Protestant and Evangelical roots, much confusion entered despite the “essentials” that were supposedly clear to all–why so many different conflicting theological pictures of Christ under this seemingly generous tolerant inclusive “evangelical umbrella?” Surely, if God is One, our doctrine should be, too? My experiences within charismatic circles was also very mixed and mostly, in retrospect, not very sound spiritually and ultimately led into confusion and a sense of distance from the love and grace of Christ I had experienced as a child through simply hearing the gospel stories in a small Methodist Sunday School. Becoming Orthodox for me represents a return to that simple childlike trust in Christ, although I certainly agree with you that going under the banner of Orthodox (or evangelical or charismatic for that matter) is no guarantee of salvation (no Orthodox so claims).
30 July 2008 at 11:38 am
Dear sister, I don’t see what your problem is. I love Jesus, you love Jesus, you wish to worship in the orthodox style, I worship like Jacob leaning on his stick, worshipping and praising God’s Holy name through Jesus. I wish you all the best and seraphim, lets keep praising the Lord for saving us, in JESUS name. Billy.
30 July 2008 at 2:26 pm
Dear guest,
It is my conviction that “loving Jesus” IS as loving Jesus DOES in terms of our treatment of one another (blog etiquette revealing an element of that), and in that respect I am as convicted of the poverty of my own love for Jesus (real though it may be) as I am of anyone else’s. Thank you for your indulgence and time in reflecting and responding to my comments. Indeed, He is to be praised!
Ultimately, no matter what has transpired in this blog conversation, any “problems” I might have with how you have approached (at points) Seraphim and me pale in comparison with the problems I have with my own recalcitrant, self-deceitful, and rebellious soul before God!
31 July 2008 at 10:40 am
Seraphim,
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
I believe you are blessed indeed.
I have often reflected on the paradox that since I gave up the “once saved, always saved” ideology of some forms of evangelicalism for the fully personal paradigm of understanding salvation within Orthodoxy, it has effectively enabled me to keep throwing the full weight of my trust back onto the mercy of God made manifest in Christ, not on my having somehow (at least at one decisional moment in time) fullfilled the requirements of “repentance” and “faith” within some forensic scheme of understanding our salvation in Christ as a legal exchange or transaction and upon a rationalistic understanding of “faith” as requiring a rational understanding of Who Jesus is (if only a very rudimentary one) rather than as personal trust engendered by a real personal encounter and experience of Him. Funny, how that works . . .
1 August 2008 at 7:29 am
Seraphim,
I confess hunches based on my former experiences in charismatic circles drove me to take one more very brief look around CEs web site. I believe the Scriptures in 1 Corinthians 13 most definitely apply, especially vs. 2. I think it is a reflection of my own neophyte status as an Orthodox that I even tried to answer this poor decieved brother at any length (or at all?). Any good that will come of it will surely only be that you and I have had the chance to get better acquainted and to support one another in our journey in seeking to be truly conformed to the image of Christ. I am concerned, given what I have seen, that allowing his comments (at least including his full name and also his cyber names and address), cannot be ultimately spiritually helpful to anyone reading your site and ought to be deleted. He is deep into promoting his own “prophecies” (which use biblical language yet, in terms of real spiritual nurture, are the equivalent of a tabloid horoscope!) and his own brand of angelology. I am concerned that many looking for true spiritual nurture, especially those who are predisposed to trust the Scriptures, but are undiscerning regarding their proper application and interpretation, may check out that site and start eating all the attractive spiritual junk food, decieved by the pleasing taste and look of it and how deceptively filling it can be, and find themselves languishing and spiritually ill in the end.
May the Lord have mercy on his soul and ours!
2 August 2008 at 8:56 am
I have had the opportunity to peruse guest’s blog, and I have also re-read the conversation that has taken place here. I’ve decided a number of things.
1) guest has made no real attempt at engaging us in conversation. Instead, he has done exactly what I was talking about in my OP — trying to convert me to Jesus, as if saying one single prayer is going to make me set for life. The Christ described by the Gospels, the Christ witnessed to by the Church, and the Christ I know requires daily conversion. It is not a single event, and I fully believe that the doctrine of “once saved, always saved” is boastful, prideful and arrogant. People saying that “saved” people don’t sin and don’t struggle is exactly what drove me to agnosticism and the black metal culture in the first place. At any rate, I am not interested in having people try to “convert” me on this blog. I am more than willing to have discussions, but I don’t need to be “witnessed” to.
2) guest’s initial posts come verbatim from his blog. This blog, however, is not going to be a sounding board for theological concepts that the true Christian church finds dangerous and spiritually damaging. I still don’t know what guest’s agenda here was other than to “convert” me, and that is not acceptable.
3) I am insulted that both Karen and I (but Karen especially) have been making rather long and thought-out posts, only to be met with cliche one-liners about religion and how to be “saved.” Sorry, but THAT is what I call a false gospel. Repentance and struggle, once again, takes a lifetime.
As a result of all of this, guest is now known as just that — guest. His real name has been deleted, as have links to his email address and his blog. Any subsequent posts by guest are going to be deleted upon sight. I am not happy to be appearing so heavy-handed, but to allow this nonsense to continue is not edifying for anybody.
Forgive me.
2 August 2008 at 9:15 pm
Seraphim,
Phew! I’m relieved! I guess Guest’s blog site is a good example at one of what can happen to biblical data removed from its full context and mooring in the fullness of Christian Tradition. It ought to serve as a warning to all of us.
It might be good for you to unpack sometime what you mean by the “once saved, always saved” doctrine being boastful, prideful and arrogant. (To be technical, only people and fallen angels can be this way.) It also needs to be balanced with the reality that Orthodox can hold “triumphalist” attitudes as well.
God bless!
5 August 2008 at 10:42 am
I am glad to hear that you are doing better. Congratulations again on the Holy Matrimony! May the Lord continue to have mercy. And thank you for reminding me with this blog entry that I must always persevere and keep up the good fight.